I recently spent two months in hospital (see my Treatment Phase 2 post for details) and thought it might be fun to list 10 things that helped me stay sane. These are in no particular order:
1. Make friends with the Nurses. These are the people who look after you day in and out. You need them for everything from adjusting your table when a meal arrives to giving you medication to helping you to the washroom (or alternative if you are not able-bodied enough for a washroom). They can really screw with your day or make it good. Be friendly and appreciative and take the time to get to know them a little bit. I was actually sad to leave many of my nurses behind.
2. Give up any notion of privacy. Seriously, you are in a hospital and can't do much for yourself. It will be a long and hard time if you are embarrassed about who sees what on you. They've seen it all before and really aren't judging you - get over it. We had a good ole running joke about my leg hair - even after I managed to convince a nurse (a male one no less) to shave me. People in the hospital are required to make note of your bowel movements for goodness sake - there is no shame here.
3. Find the humour and learning experiences in your roommates. I was in a semi-private room. This meant that there was a curtain separating me from the next bed. I had 15 roommates over 2 months. Some were great, some were terrible and most were tolerable. I tried to be personable without getting too involved - I was not there to make buddies and most were not exactly in my age bracket. I learned that I do not have a lot of time for teenagers and teenage drama. I also learned that dilauded can make religious French men swear like sailors. I learned that I don't want a hysterectomy as it makes you really gassy for a couple days (it also was the recipient of more pain complaints than joint replacements). I learned that rating ones pain on a scale of 1-10 is really, really subjective. I learned that people are generally in and out of the hospital way quicker than I ever imagined. I learned that dementia is really horrible, especially for the family, but that you have to find a little humour in it to survive the sleepless nights (this may make me a horrible person).
4. Don't expect to receive your exact food order. It took me a week to find out they had a separate menu for vegetarians. This helped somewhat. The vegetarian dahl turned out to not be that bad. However, it seemed that regardless of what I ordered, I ended up with dahl half the time anyway. Pretty much every meal had some kind of substitution or missing item. Roll with it - none of it is that good anyway.
5. Make the most of visits. Visits really make it bearable in there. Even if people only stay a few minutes - it's great to get some news of the outside and be reminded that you have a life to go back to. The flowers, chocolates, crosswords and other goodies help too:)
6. Try to make a bit of a routine or goals in your day. This may sound crazy or a little too Virgo, but it helped me. There are things you can't control but do what you can. My day was basically - vitals at 7, doze until 8, call for breakfast, eat, bathe, speak with doctor of the week (who would normally arrive during bathing or an even more inconvenient time), read for a bit, morning physio, time in chair - wheel laps around the floor, have lunch, do some colouring or crosswords, back to bed for a rest, visit from Scott - back in chair, trip to Tims, back to bed, order dinner, evening physio, read or play phone games until sleepy. Sleep. Repeat. I made sure to do laps every day - more if I was not likely to get over to Tims. I found sitting in my room by myself in the chair just led to me staring at the clock wondering if I had been up long enough. Getting around a bit was key.
7. Find something fun and easy to read. I tried reading serious things but gave up and gave into the fluff. For me the TV held no interest - it was hard to get it at an angle that I could see properly and I can't stand commercials. I maybe watched 3 shows the whole time I was there. But I always had a book on the go.
8. A smartphone. The wifi was crappy but good enough for Facebook and Candy Crush. It was also good for receiving pictures of the dog and chatting with friends and family.
9. Actually need to be there. I did not mind being in hospital for the first 7 weeks or so. I was tired, sore, and in a bit of a rough way. I was not overly bored until I was. Once that happened I knew it was time to go.
10. A little stoicism goes a long way. It is what it is. If it can't be changed there is no point fighting it. Do what you can to make the most of your situation and accept it for what it is. If you can, look at the positive. In my case the hospital helped us address a number of practical issues that were coming to a head. Of course, I missed being home and the dog terribly, but I knew I'd get back eventually.
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